One of the things I had always heard about New Orleans and Louisiana is that it is near the bayou. The swampy bayou has always fascinated me, as it has been featured in a lot of great, creepy movies and books. Big trees with Spanish moss dripping off of them, spooky mansions left rotting in the swamp, gators, inbred backwoods Cajuns, and voodoo! Wow! I needed to see the swamps.
Following the trek through the trees and moss, it was time for total air boat fun. I didn't take any photos here, but tried to get video...It is now "lost" somewhere in my computer files. Essentially Scott took us to another marshy area that was somewhat dryer. Scott would speed up and do fish tails in the water. Then he'd rev up the engine and send us hurling from the water, skipping over the ground, and back into the water. It was super fun. And,of course, the blonde had her arm in the air, pointing the way. Ha!
There were several swamp tours offered at the tourist outlet we stopped at for this tour. I wanted the big air boat--not some pedestrian tour boat that slowly chugged along. An air boat sounded exciting (and very movie/TV perfect for the swamps) and I'd never been on one. Even though those tickets were more expensive, that's what we went for. Whoo hoo!
We had not rented a car for our trip. Fortunately there was a shuttle that picked us up that morning in front of our hotel about 10. There were already several people on board when we got on, so we moved to the back. The two women closest to us started talking to us. It was soon evident that something was a tad off with them.
"You're drunk," Erich said to them.
The blonde in sunglasses looked at him and said "I'm on va-CATION," as if that were reason enough to be snockered so early in the day. As we drove on, the two women were rambling on to one another about this and that. The blonde at one point claimed to be Cajun (or maybe she said she used to be Cajun?) and blah, blah, blah.
We drove across the river and headed away from town (passing a real live Piggly Wiggly store on the way. Yes, they REALLY exist! Ha!).
We finally got to the swamp tour place and everyone was herded off of the bus.
Fortunately most of the people there were going on the boring slow tour boat (snore). The air boat ride turned out to be just for us...and the two drunk women. Ha!
While waiting to board the boat, the drunk gals were busy flirting with a young pilot in a rain slicker. I believe his name was Kevin. He and another, older (early 40s?) heavier guy (I think his name was Scott) were the pilots of out air boat. We sat in the middle seat...the drunk chicks sat in front. There are no side rails and no seat belts on the boat--only some headphones to cancel out the noise of the motor (which we wore at the beginning--and then took off). I wasn't so scared about falling out as I was about dropping my camera and/or phone (both of which I was using to take pictures).
As soon as we got out of the marina (?) area and into the swamp, they cranked up the motor and sped off. The blonde drunk acted like she was at a rock concert or was a queen and in command of things. She'd bob her head, raise an arm and just point off into the distance. The pilots would occasionally pull the boat over to show us some alligators here and there. One alligator was fully visible, but she was hissing at us as we drew near. Apparently she was protecting her babies, but the one pilot, Scott, said she would usually come right up to the boat and they'd feed her. The blonde woman was leaning over the side of the boat talking to the gator, saying it was okay. She understood. She was a mother too, with four children of her own, blah blah blah. I didn't really hear anymore of her conversation with the reptile because I was stunned hearing this woman had four kids. All I could think of was, where are they now and does she even know who their fathers are? (Yes, PLURAL "fathers". She was such a mess, I would not be surprised if all of her kids were conceived during one night stands following closing times at various bars scattered throughout the country.)
I was also concerned that she would either fall off of the boat or that the alligator would decide to bite off her hand...or her head! If that happened though, I had my camera ready! Ha!
Although the first part of the tour had some fast jaunts through the swamp and we saw real live wild alligators, I was kind of disappointed. The area we were in was just wide open marsh land---there were no trees or moss or anything like I envisioned. That was soon to change though as we headed back to the main section of the swamp. But before we got into the trees, our motor died and we were adrift.... I'm NOT kidding!
There was nothing the crew could do. Sure, they radioed in the situation, but in the mean time we just floated along...
The gals thought the motor failing was all a hoax designed to put a little more thrill in the show for the tourists. The brunette was going on and on about how fake it was, and how it reminded her of the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland, and how she knew all about the Jungle Cruise because she was from Los Angeles, blah, blah, blah. They continued to ramble on while they continued to enjoy the cocktails they brought with them (sometimes straight out of the bottle!)
And we drifted, drifted, drifted...castaways with our Skipper and his little buddy...and our blitzed versions of Ginger and MaryAnn...we saw the rescue boat speeding along through the swamps...and then speed on by. It didn't see us and kept on going. Scott fed an alligator some marshmallows (apparently the gators think they are some sort of egg they like) while we waited to be rescued.
The second air boat finally turned around somewhere and came speeding back. It found us and we were saved.
We had to change boats. This caused some distress to the drunk gals. Scott was going with us, but young Kevin, whom they had been flirting with, was staying behind to try and fix the other boat.
"Bye, Yellow," they called out to him, naming him the color of his rain slicker, having been too sloshed to remember his name. "Bye! Everybody give Yellow a tip."
With Scott at the helm, we were soon off again. Before too long we passed the slow regular boat with its crew of tourists...
On this stretch of the tour, we were seeing all of the stuff I was expected to see--the big trees with Spanish moss hanging down for that creepy-cool bayou feel.
Following the trek through the trees and moss, it was time for total air boat fun. I didn't take any photos here, but tried to get video...It is now "lost" somewhere in my computer files. Essentially Scott took us to another marshy area that was somewhat dryer. Scott would speed up and do fish tails in the water. Then he'd rev up the engine and send us hurling from the water, skipping over the ground, and back into the water. It was super fun. And,of course, the blonde had her arm in the air, pointing the way. Ha!
When we headed back to dock, the other regular boat was already there.
I don't remember if "Yellow"/Kevin ever made it back or not before we left. But by that time, our hooch hounds were already trying to cozy up to Scott. We quickly headed through the gift shop, not even bothering to buy a stuffed gator head (they were for sale all over the place any way).
Just as we were about to make our exit and leave, Scott called out to us.
"Hey, you forgot something," he said.
We turned and there were the boozie broads clinging all over him. By the time I got my picture, he had untangled himself, but they were clearly setting their inebriated sights on him--for the moment, any way.
We told him that they were not with us and left. As we walked out, we saw that the shuttle bus was just about to leave. We ran down and got on. It left without the two gals. I didn't even see them begin to emerge from the gift shop as we pulled away. Perhaps they were hoping to go and get stranded again out in the swamps with Scott...(or whom ever was available).
Stay tuned for Part 9---dining out fun!
CHEERS!
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