It was the next morning and we were up and at 'em. Christa, who claims to go to the Central Coast often had already shockingly NOT been to the Brown Butter Cookie Company before or the Paso Robles art gallery co-op, had also never been to (Gasp!) the Madonna Inn. So, off we whisked away to check the inn out. I noticed the VACANCY sign. Clearly word of her appearance at the inn had spread...
Security was no where to be seen, so Christa decided to sneak in and check the place out. Oh my stars! This might have caused a huge international incident had she been caught.
The pink & gold dining room was closed this early in the day. While I appreciated the Halloween decor, I was shocked to see that the giant roses were no longer hanging down. Was this a seasonal thing or were they just down for cleaning?
We also found a pair of secret dining rooms in off-limit areas. Did that stop her from trespassing? No way! This first one is in the enormous cupola over the registration office.
This next dining room is between the first dining room and the public areas. It sits over the drive thru entrances and exits between the registration office and the public areas.
I finally dragged her into the Copper Cafe. I thought she'd feel especially at home there, being Swiss and all. The waitresses all dress like Heidi or like the Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa lady.
Dazzled by all of this Alpine splendor, Christa was like a kid in a candy store...or at least like a kid in a gaudy, over-the-top inn. We had come for breakfast, but instead, she started yodeling at the top of her lungs.
Here she is yodeling away, while a dazed Heidi-clad cashier desperately tries to call security...but is stuck on hold.
Finally, the poor, terrified non-yodel friendly cashier bolted for parts unknown.
Eventually Christa finished her number, took a bow, and adjourned to the ladies room.
But the folks in the cafe were stunned. Even the bakery attendant fled, fearing that an avalanche or a stampede of goats or something might be heading her way.
We finally ventured outside to check out the unique architecture of some of the hotel rooms. (And just be glad I didn't take any photos of the time when Christa brazenly entered the men's room, just to check it out! Oh my star!)
As we were leaving the inn, Christa spotted one of those crazily painted bulls that are everywhere in the Central Coast.
Notice the shocked and austere look on the statue of Father Serra, founder of the mission chain? You'd have that look on your face too if some crazed Swiss woman was grabbing your behind. Oh my! I had to get her inside quickly. She was clearly out of control.
The church was nearly deserted when we arrived. The parishioners must have heard she was in the vicinity and might try to hide out inside. I'm sure they had all fled in panic.
Having her in that sanctuary was akin to watching the boy from "The Omen" in church. She was panicked, like a wild animal and couldn't wait to get out of there.
Off she fled into the mission's backyard...
She was trapped, trapped like a rat, until she discovered the museum portion of the mission and slipped in through the exit! Shocking!
Fortunately, most of the displays were behind glass. You could tell that she was just itching to pick up a thing or two to take home with her... or to post on eBay.
She was in the book store, planning her next move, when the bells started clanging, clanging, clanging! They were not ringing in any sort of rhythm or to toll an hour, just banging away rapidly and randomly. We took this as a sign that the mission had detected her presence and was letting out the alarm. Oh my stars! It was time to flee (yet AGAIN)!
We rushed down the steps of the mission, across the park and crossed the stream.
Where could we possibly go to escape?
Christa spotted a bar and said she needed a drink. She said she couldn't go any further and that we were so close to the mission, no one would ever look for us inside. She was right.
On the patio, we each ordered a cocktail. She told the waitress to make her's a virgin, but I saw her winking and then mouth "Make it a double" before the waitress nodded and sped away.
Christa had never been to the Creeky Tiki either (so she CLAIMS).
We then stumbled on Bubblegum Alley, which Christa had also never been to...or even heard of.
Because she had no gum of her own, she just peeled some off of the wall, chewed it up to soften it, and then stuck it on.
There were several interesting designs and even messages in the gum mess.
There was even a gum ashtray, of sorts.
We saw this guy put his cigarette out there.
I thought that since I was there, I might as well add some gum to the wall, too. However, I was already chewing gum. No wall gum cooties for me, thank you.
We soon came to this neat old library that had been converted to a history center.
You'll notice that some of the bottles in this wine display are open and empty, while others are not. Guess who beat me to the display before I could stop her? Shocking.
With the alarm sounded at the mission and then Christa breaking into one of the displays in the museum, we had to flee again. This time, we headed for Cambria. I suggested she hide out in Nit Wit Ridge, but as tempting as that sounded, she thought that by the name alone, that would be one of the first places the authorities would look for her.
So onward we fled, heading north. The thinking was that since everyone knows the road north into Big Sur is closed due to being washed out, no one would ever suspect we'd head that way. Christa was hoping against hope that the road would somehow miraculously be re-opened again. It wasn't. But first, to appear to be normal tourists, we stopped in Piadres Blancas and visited the elephant seals.
Further north we trudged until we reached the end of the line that was available for the moment and we stopped at Ragged Point.
Ragged Point is, according to this sculpture, the "Portal to Big Sur".
We stopped at the edge of Ragged Point. There was all sorts of carving in the wooden safety rail. I couldn't make it out. But I was sure there were secret Swiss codes embedded within it all, giving Christa secret instructions. Uh huh...
Finally, we decided that the coast was clear (literally and figuratively) and we cautiously made our way back to Paso Robles. To celebrate her eluding capture (yet AGAIN), Christa wanted to celebrate and dine at some swanky restaurant called Buona Tavola.
Security was no where to be seen, so Christa decided to sneak in and check the place out. Oh my stars! This might have caused a huge international incident had she been caught.
The pink & gold dining room was closed this early in the day. While I appreciated the Halloween decor, I was shocked to see that the giant roses were no longer hanging down. Was this a seasonal thing or were they just down for cleaning?
Christa spied the bar and wandered over. Thank goodness it was closed, because I knew I'd never get her out of there otherwise.
We also found a pair of secret dining rooms in off-limit areas. Did that stop her from trespassing? No way! This first one is in the enormous cupola over the registration office.
This next dining room is between the first dining room and the public areas. It sits over the drive thru entrances and exits between the registration office and the public areas.
I finally dragged her into the Copper Cafe. I thought she'd feel especially at home there, being Swiss and all. The waitresses all dress like Heidi or like the Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa lady.
Here she is yodeling away, while a dazed Heidi-clad cashier desperately tries to call security...but is stuck on hold.
Finally, the poor, terrified non-yodel friendly cashier bolted for parts unknown.
Eventually Christa finished her number, took a bow, and adjourned to the ladies room.
But the folks in the cafe were stunned. Even the bakery attendant fled, fearing that an avalanche or a stampede of goats or something might be heading her way.
We finally ventured outside to check out the unique architecture of some of the hotel rooms. (And just be glad I didn't take any photos of the time when Christa brazenly entered the men's room, just to check it out! Oh my star!)
As we were leaving the inn, Christa spotted one of those crazily painted bulls that are everywhere in the Central Coast.
Feeling that my little compact rental car wasn't good enough for her, she hopped out and got behind the wheel of this sporty pink number. She was about to take off in it, when I convinced her that her yodeling had already caused security to be alerted and she'd be easily seen in that cart, so she relented and got back in the car with me...and off we sped.
Fearing she'd be busted by the police and having no idea how many other crimes or sins she may have committed along the way, we raced off to Mission San Luis Obispo to pray for her immortal soul. The mission was, of course, another place she had never visited before.
The church was nearly deserted when we arrived. The parishioners must have heard she was in the vicinity and might try to hide out inside. I'm sure they had all fled in panic.
Having her in that sanctuary was akin to watching the boy from "The Omen" in church. She was panicked, like a wild animal and couldn't wait to get out of there.
Off she fled into the mission's backyard...
She was trapped, trapped like a rat, until she discovered the museum portion of the mission and slipped in through the exit! Shocking!
Fortunately, most of the displays were behind glass. You could tell that she was just itching to pick up a thing or two to take home with her... or to post on eBay.
She was in the book store, planning her next move, when the bells started clanging, clanging, clanging! They were not ringing in any sort of rhythm or to toll an hour, just banging away rapidly and randomly. We took this as a sign that the mission had detected her presence and was letting out the alarm. Oh my stars! It was time to flee (yet AGAIN)!
We rushed down the steps of the mission, across the park and crossed the stream.
Where could we possibly go to escape?
Christa spotted a bar and said she needed a drink. She said she couldn't go any further and that we were so close to the mission, no one would ever look for us inside. She was right.
On the patio, we each ordered a cocktail. She told the waitress to make her's a virgin, but I saw her winking and then mouth "Make it a double" before the waitress nodded and sped away.
Christa had never been to the Creeky Tiki either (so she CLAIMS).
After our drinks, we wandered about a bit. We saw where two old buildings were being converted to a new luxury hotel to be called Hotel Serra and took a nosy peek inside.
We then stumbled on Bubblegum Alley, which Christa had also never been to...or even heard of.
After watching a small child add her gum to the collection, Christa wanted to participate.
Because she had no gum of her own, she just peeled some off of the wall, chewed it up to soften it, and then stuck it on.
There were several interesting designs and even messages in the gum mess.
There was even a gum ashtray, of sorts.
We saw this guy put his cigarette out there.
I thought that since I was there, I might as well add some gum to the wall, too. However, I was already chewing gum. No wall gum cooties for me, thank you.
We soon came to this neat old library that had been converted to a history center.
You'll notice that some of the bottles in this wine display are open and empty, while others are not. Guess who beat me to the display before I could stop her? Shocking.
With the alarm sounded at the mission and then Christa breaking into one of the displays in the museum, we had to flee again. This time, we headed for Cambria. I suggested she hide out in Nit Wit Ridge, but as tempting as that sounded, she thought that by the name alone, that would be one of the first places the authorities would look for her.
So onward we fled, heading north. The thinking was that since everyone knows the road north into Big Sur is closed due to being washed out, no one would ever suspect we'd head that way. Christa was hoping against hope that the road would somehow miraculously be re-opened again. It wasn't. But first, to appear to be normal tourists, we stopped in Piadres Blancas and visited the elephant seals.
Further north we trudged until we reached the end of the line that was available for the moment and we stopped at Ragged Point.
Ragged Point is, according to this sculpture, the "Portal to Big Sur".
We stopped at the edge of Ragged Point. There was all sorts of carving in the wooden safety rail. I couldn't make it out. But I was sure there were secret Swiss codes embedded within it all, giving Christa secret instructions. Uh huh...
Finally, we decided that the coast was clear (literally and figuratively) and we cautiously made our way back to Paso Robles. To celebrate her eluding capture (yet AGAIN), Christa wanted to celebrate and dine at some swanky restaurant called Buona Tavola.
After such an adventurous day, I was exhausted. But tomorrow would still hold surprises. Stay tuned.
CHEERS!
PS For a shocking and outrageously fabricated version of the day's events, take a look at fiction writer Christa Polkinhorn's take on the day. You can see it HERE. It's simply scandalous how she manipulates the truth to make herself look so nice and innocent and NORMAL (Hello?). View at your own risk!
PS For a shocking and outrageously fabricated version of the day's events, take a look at fiction writer Christa Polkinhorn's take on the day. You can see it HERE. It's simply scandalous how she manipulates the truth to make herself look so nice and innocent and NORMAL (Hello?). View at your own risk!
To read about our third day, visit HERE.
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