I'm Freaky For Tiki #9: The Great Modesto Tiki Trek

It's no secret I am soon to write an article about tiki in California for The Fresno Bee. I've visited a lot of tiki bars in the Bay Area and Los Angeles, and have also checked out the ones at the coast and in Bakersfield. But tiki north of Fresno? I knew there was tiki stuff in Modesto, but shockingly I had never visited it. I needed to get experiencing it out of the way and I figured the sooner the better, so I decided to make the drive the next time I had some time off.


The day before this big excursion, I had sent a note around to my co-workers, asking if anyone wanted to accompany me.

Attention all co-workers! Attention all co-workers! Anyone up for a tiki adventure tomorrow? As you may know, I am working on an article on tiki for The Fresno Bee. I'm heading out on a 6+ hour (2 hours up, 2 hours for lunch and exploration and 2 hours back...with some built in wiggle room time-wise) tiki adventure tomorrow (Wednesday, 11/29) to go to Modesto to visit the tiki stuff up there (the closest tiki to the north of us). I'll first be stopping at a tiki restaurant called Minnie's for lunch and photos. Then, it's off to the glamorous (at one time. Now it looks shabby and forgotten) Tropics Motel--NOT to check in (I had enough with cheap hotels with the Clown Motel, thank you), but to look around and take photos. Finally, I'll be stopping in at the Tiki Cocktail Lounge, which is located on the grounds of the hotel. I realize most (all) of you won't want to go. The friend who was going with me had to back out at the last minute. I'm doing this now as the winter weather is still favorable and I need to get this done ASAP so I can move on with my article. However, if you think you are up to this, send me a note and let's go-go! CHEERS!

There were lots of "I wish I could go, but"s, -- but no takers. I was solo. That's okay. I'm a big boy. I could do this alone. So, that morning, with only my years-old hula girl rear-view mirror air freshener as my traveling companion, away I went.

I had taken my blood pressure medication before leaving. One of the pills contains a diuretic. As I was alone, I was playing some bad Euro pop CD and singing along--loudly and BADLY. I was also car dancing as well. But soon enough, that car dancing gave way to the pee pee dance and---eeek!--with less than 20 minutes from my first destination, I needed to pull over to the rest stop outside of Turlock and PEE!

I'll spare you most of the details of the trip to the bathroom. However, I will say the smell was horrendous and there were no privacy walls separating the urinals. I was alone in the bathroom (thank god), except for some guy in one of the stalls. You could hear him wrestling with the paper toilet seat cover. Once he finally got it situated and was beginning to seat himself, a fart would occasionally escape him and he'd make a startled sound, as if the escaping gas were completely catching him off guard.

Thhhptt. "Oooo!" Puuttt. "Uh!"

I wanted to laugh, it was so comical, but I didn't dare because the fumes in there were so noxious I just had to run away.



Back at the car, I thought I should switch CDs and play something else for the rest of the ride to Modesto.  I pushed the eject button and the CD came out. I went to put a new CD in and... The CD player wouldn't let me. What the...? ARGH! The player is apparently broken now. All of the rest of the trip up ( and the trip back home) this was displaying on the screen: "Ejecting Disc". GRR. It doesn't seem to realize it has already ejected the dang disc. Dang car! Maybe the CD player broke itself on purpose so I couldn't sing any more? Probably.


Somehow I made it to Modesto without any music and arrived at my first destination.

MINNIE'S:

After getting through a crazy intersection where 5 streets met, Google Maps was telling me I had arrived. Swell. Where was it? Oh--there Minnie's was on the left. I had to go down a few blocks before I could turn around. Once that was done and I was approaching it again, I realized that there was no parking allowed on the street. Grr.

I went around the corner and right past a parking lot that was designated for Minnie's. Argh! I went around the block again and, this time, got in.



 Customers enter from the rear parking area. Who knew? 


As you walk up to the back door, you are greeted by an assortment of tikis.


I would later discover that there is a large patio area on the side of the restaurant. The back entrance can be seen below on the right.


It was just before 1 p.m. when I arrived. Minnie's was open for lunch.


When you first walk in, it is almost too dark to see anything. As my eyes adjusted, this is the first thing I saw inside.


Around the left side was some seating areas and on the right was a doorway into the bar. I figured I needed to get to the front by the entrance, so I walked through the bar.


At the front reception area, I noticed this sign advertising specials. I also noticed the little aquarium-lined lobby was cluttered with crap (you can see some of it to the left of the sign). My goal was not to rat them out for their housekeeping, but to experience this place for the article--and for myself. Hmm.


A peek into the main dining room showed that the place was nice and clean. Interesting. The cluttered entryway had me confused.



The front desk was also crazily cluttered. I purposely did not get any shots of it as I didn't want to embarrass anyone. It seemed strange though that the dining room was nice and the lobby and front desk area were sort of a shambles. I did snap a shot of the tiki mugs in the glass case and you can kind of see some of the crap around it. Is that a bottle of hydrogen peroxide behind the pineapple mug? Hmm.


When I caught the attention of a woman who works there, she apologized for not seeing me sooner. She said the regular server was off for some reason and she was handling the bar as well as waitressing duties. She took me to a small dining room just off of the bar, where she could watch out for me if I needed anything.



She gave me a lunch menu and I also asked for a drink menu. That kind of seemed to momentarily throw her a bit. I think she was used to just serving beer or shots. Cocktails? She had to look for a menu. She returned with one a short time later. 


The first drink I noticed was the Minnie's Special. It sounded interesting and I was all set to try that, when I happened to read the description for The Jerk on the top of the page. It said it was Minnie's signature drink. Hmm. I was further intrigued when I read "For an added kick, ask your bartender for the Jerk Off." Huh? SOLD! And, of course, I wanted the Jerk Off version...whatever that might be.


Even though I had skipped breakfast and was having a cocktail, I only ordered a light lunch. I had spied a vintage A&W with carhop service on my way in...and I was determined to investigate that after my tiki tour had ended. (You can read about that HERE.)


My drink came. I asked my server what the difference was between a Jerk and a Jerk Off. She said "two straws". What?  She looked at my bewildered face and said, "Have you been here before?"

I confessed I hadn't and she proceeded to tell me to be careful and not move the straws; that each one was filled with rum. Sure enough, they were. If you look closely, you can see the rum in both straws--a tad more in the red straw than the green--just above the top of the drink. They were extra shots o' rum. How clever.


After telling me about the drink, the server introduced herself as Diane.

"Oh, you're Diane." 

She gave me a perplexed look. How had I heard of her?

I explained that someone on their Facebook page had told me to speak with her or a guy named Stuart (who, it turns out, is the owner). 

Soon after, lunch started to arrive. First there was eggflower soup.


Then two thin chicken breasts in teriyaki sauce with pineapple chunks, broccoli, and rice. I didn't eat the rice.


Behind me, I spied a tiki peeking in through a window.


By the time I had finished lunch, I explained to Diane that I was actually doing an article on tiki in California for The Fresno Bee and wanted to ask her a few questions if that was okay. She was fine with that, but suggested we move to the bar. That was cool with me.


Since the article is on tiki throughout the state and what those in the valley do to get their tiki fix in a mostly tiki-free void, Minnie's would only have a small part in the article. My questions were brief. I did find out that every year on Labor Day Weekend, Minnie's hosts a luau with Polynesian dancers and has a whole barbecued pig. They also unveil and release a new signature tiki mug (made by Tiki Farm). I had seen the mugs in the display case out front and asked if they had any for sale. The only one available was the coconut-shaped one from this past Labor Day. I told her I'd love to buy one.


After our chat, I asked if I could wander around and take photos. She said I could and I started snapping shots left and right.



Behind those seated at the bar is a long shelf with a row of tiki mugs (many from other places in addition to Minnie's). Several I recognized and many I have copies of.






Below is the most-recent mug from Minnie's sitting on the shelf. The one I bought is like this one.



A small outrigger canoe hangs over the bar area.


This incredible scorpion sign painted on a barrel hangs inside the back of the bar area on the far right side. It was hard to see, but I thought it was very cool. I asked Diane to take a photo of it for me, but she just let me go back there and snap it on my own. It had decades worth of dust on it, but what an awesome thing to find. I wonder if their Scorpions are still only $1.75? Ha!


There were also the obligatory nudes on black velvet paintings. 




In the far back corner, they already had a Christmas tree up.


It was after 2 p.m. and lunch was over. The bar remains open all day. Since I was given permission to roam around, I went back to the main dining room to get some more shots in there.








Diane said not to miss the patio...so I headed out there. It is a huge space that looks sorely underused (except for the luau). I'm guessing they rent it out for private parties and things.











Back inside, I told Diane I wanted to go get photos of the front. She told me to prop the door open as it would lock behind me. 


Apparently they keep the front doors locked all of the time. In addition to the pushable self-locking "panic bars" that a lot of businesses have, there were extra locks in place that bolted into the ceiling. Diane had to unlock those for me as well so I could get out.No wonder the entryway lobby area was used for storage. The space had no further use otherwise.





I got my shots of the front, removed my boxed tiki mug that was holding the doors ajar, went back in and re-locked all of the locks on the door. I said thank you and farewell to Diane. I like Minnie's, but I had to get to the car and get to the next tiki attraction. 

Later I found out that there is apparently a second floor at Minnie's with its own bar. I had seen a staircase near the front desk area, but there had been a big thatched door blocking entrance. I thought it must have been offices or storage of some kind. I never dreamed there had been more to see. Oh well, it will have to wait for another time perhaps.


MINNIE'S
107 McHenry Ave.
Modesto, CA 95354
(209) 524-4621


Visit its Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/minniesmodesto/


Back in the car, I pulled out my phone to Google the directions to the Tropics Motel. I knew it was just down the street from Minnie's, but exactly where I wasn't sure. Google popped up something called "Tiki Lodge" and listed it as a 1-star hotel. It was just a short ways down the block from where I was. That had to be it. I went through that crazy 5-laned intersection again and soon I found myself at...

TIKI LODGE (formerly TROPICS MOTEL):

I wasn't expecting much , so I guess you could say I wasn't disappointed. The hotel had recently been painted a gray color and had a surprising number of cars in its parking lot ( especially for a Wednesday afternoon).




However, appearances can be deceiving. Somewhere online I read something about this hotel getting an amazing number of calls to the police on a yearly basis...something like an average of 30+ calls per hotel room (and there are 60 rooms!) per year. That's more than 300 calls. Crazy. And SCARY!


Apparently the clientele can be rather...questionable. One article talked about a man beating his wife who was trying to protect her kids. Another talked about a stabbing. I've also seen photos of signs around the place forbidding drug use and "tweakers". EEK!



I found these next few pictures online. It shows what the hotel was originally like when it was conceived and  opened. The Tropics Motel was a large complex with an office on the left, a tiki bar in the middle and a Sambo's restaurant on the right end.

Here is a vintage photo postcard of the place--also found online.



The pool area certainly doesn't look like that any longer. It was fenced off and the pool drained.



The four large tiki statues that have been mainstays since the place opened seem to have become light sources with solar battery things on their heads. This one has a sign on it, designating it as a "tiki" in case any questioning visitor wonders what a tiki in the Tiki Lodge name refers to.


O' the indignity. This poor tiki has a long light strip on him.


More solar head gear...


And even more head gear.


Too bad it didn't age gracefully. But at least it still exists.

TIKI LODGE (formerly TROPICS MOTEL)
936 McHenry Ave.
Modesto, CA 95350
(209) 523-7701



TIKI COCKTAIL LOUNGE:

The tiki bar at the hotel still exists, but it seems to be completely separated from the hotel, possibly no longer part of the hotel's property. (The Sambo's next to it is also long gone. It is now a custom car shop.) Critiki listed its hours as opening at 2 pm daily. Clearly that was outdated information as it was closed when I arrived. 



The front entrance was fenced off.


I peeked over and saw what I believe is a patio area.


A tiki sentry broke up the fence line somewhat.


At the back, I noticed a big rainbow flag made of bamboo poles that had been woven together. Apparently it's a gay tiki bar now. Patrons enter through the rear.


It also apparently opens at 5 pm. I could have stayed a few more hours to check it out, but that would have meant a 2 hour trip home in the dark. No thanks.


I found this clipping online. It's a shot of the inside of the bar back in its tiki glory days. I doubt seriously that it looks remotely like this today, unfortunately.


I'm glad the place still exists and still seems to be tiki, at least partially. It's still called Tiki Cocktail Lounge, which is something. I would gladly check out the inside someday if I ever have a reason to get back to Modesto.


With one last shot, I headed home (after a stop at that A&W, that is).  Gay bar or not, I'm sure that Tiki Cocktail Lounge had much better music that night than I had on my musicless 2-hour drive home, where my only companion was still an old hula girl air freshener swinging to her own beat as the  CD player kept flashing "ejecting disc" the whole way. Oh well.

TIKI COCKTAIL LOUNGE
932 McHenry Ave.
Modesto, CA 95350
(209) 577-9969

Visit it on Critiki: https://critiki.com/location/tiki-cocktail-lounge-modesto-107/

Visit its Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TikiModesto/

CHEERS!

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