I am 54 now. I guess I have officially entered the age when friends start passing away. I have, of course, had relatives pass. There are always other family members around to let you know. But when friends die, especially those living long distances away, sometimes finding out takes quite a while. But it doesn't make the news, when it is eventually learned, any less shocking.
CAREY/SCOTT CYR:
I never actually met Scott in person. Several years ago (early 2000s), Scott approached me through eBay (when you could still see who the high bidders were). I had won an auction he had been interested in, and he had wanted to know if I would resell the item to him. I didn't, but we developed a great friendship. We were both avid movie poster collectors (You can view my blog about my collection HERE). I had been collecting since I was 12. Scott was the first person I ever got to know who also collected movie posters. it was great to know someone else with the same passion.
Scott was obsessed with several films and he would focus his collection on them. The film he seemed most devoted to was the 1977 adaptation of Stephen King's CARRIE. Scott seemed to really identify with the picked on social misfit Carrie White from the film. In the last year of his life, he had his name legally changed to Carey. He said it wasn't because of the influence of the film, but I think that had a large part to do with it.
Another film Scott was fascinated with was FLESHPOT ON 42ND STREET, a low-budget, early-70's grindhouse curiosity from notorious trash filmmaker Andy Milligan. I dig Milligan (for all of the wrong reasons) and already had several of the posters for his horror flicks such as THE RATS ARE COMING THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE, BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS, or TORTURE DUNGEON) but did not have a copy of FLESHPOT. Scott would frequently ask if I had gotten a copy yet. I had never been able to.
About two years ago, on some obscure auction site online, there was a copy for sale along with several other interesting posters---many of which I thought Scott would be interested in. I texted him about the auction. I didn't hear back. I had called him a few times and hadn't heard back. Eventually there was a recording saying there was an error with the phone. Scott was always struggling financially, so I figured his phone broke and he'd soon have another.
I went on to win the auction for FLESHPOT and several other cool titles. Imagine my surprise when the box arrived with my winnings and inside were several tubes and envelopes containing the posters but with Scott's name and address all over them. Huh? Had he been so broke he'd had to sell some stuff?
I had not been able to reach Scott. I thought his phone must have been the issue. It had broken, he'd had to get a new phone number and he lost mine in the process. But when I looked the auction house (I was trying to reach him), I discovered it specialized in estate liquidations. What?
I tried to find out more information. I eventually tracked down one of his friends and was told that he had died. He had accidentally overdosed on drugs. Apparently he had a history of drug use, but I had been totally unaware of this. I later discovered an online obituary for him.
It was shocking to find out he had died and surprising to hear about his addiction problem. I miss chatting with Scott. However, I think it is marvelous that I have some of Scott's collection. I think he would have wanted me to have it.
JACK ELKINS:
I don't remember how long I was communicating with Jack, but it was quite a long number of years. He was an older fellow who approached me on Penpal International. Jack "knew" me throughout my years as a writer for The Fresno Bee newspaper, all through my time in nursing school and through my first few years as a nurse. Jack seemed to love my letters, emails and cards. he said he would print them out and read them while he traveled the subways, went to doctor's appointments, etc. Through my communications with him, he knew many of my friends, co-workers and classmates and would inquire about them by name.
Jack lived in Canada and had numerous health problems. He was dealing with C.O.P.D. when I first met him, but other ailments crept into his life. I know I have photos of him, but they are lost in the mess of files in my computer.
As Jack's health decreased, I heard from him less and less often. The last time I heard from him, he was fighting cancer and not well. He said (and had been saying in previous messages) that if anything happened to him, he had told his daughter to please contact me. I never heard from her, but after a longer period of time of not hearing from him, I Googled him and found an online obituary for him.
I'm glad he is no longer suffering. I'm also glad that my notes and letters brought him some amount of joy. So long, Jack.
ROBERT "BOB" RUO:
I met Bob sometime ago, back in the 1990s. It was through eBay or some other auction-like website. We never actually physically met until around 2015 or 16, despite the fact he lived in Palm Springs...just a few hours from where I live.
Bob was an older gentleman, but he had a great joie de vive. He often held dinner parties, took cruises, and honored the cocktail hour in the evenings. We shared our lives via email. I knew about his relationships and what was happening in his life and he knew about what I was doing as well. He was jovial and seemed fine during my meeting with him. This photo was taken at his home:
He had health issues as he got older, but nothing too debilitating. In the last year or so of his life, he seemed to be developing memory and balance issues...but still managed a few romantic rendezvous so I wasn't too worried.
In October last year, I received an email saying he had just returned from a cruise with his nephew. The next email I got from him was this frantic note saying basically that his entire body was failing and doctors only gave him a few days to live. I emailed back that he should fight, hang on. That doctor's don't know everything. I didn't hear back from him. i'd send a note checking in on him from time to time, but nothing came back.
When I was making out my Christmas cards, I thought about Bob. I hadn't heard from him or from anyone associated with him, so I Googled him. Yes, he had passed away as well. Here is a shot from his obituary online:
Bob had a dynamic life. I am so glad I got to meet him the one time. It was great to have had someone who felt so free to share his life without ever really knowing me. Cheers, Bob.
VICTOR BANIS:
I met Victor Banis by chance. I lived in the Bay Area for a few years in the early 2000s. As a reader and a fan of James Bond novels (among other things), for a brief while I became focused on finding some James Bond knockoff or parody novels. There was THE MAN FROM O.R.G.Y. series (that I remember my grandmother reading in the early 70s), the Agent 0008 series (crazy expensive and hard to track down), and several others. There was even a Jewish spoof series of books, Agent Oy-Oy-7, with such titles as LOXFINGER and MATZOHBALL. And then I learned about yet another spoof series, THE MAN FROM C.A.M.P. and had to track those down.
THE MAN FROM C.A.M.P. was written by someone named Don Holliday. I went to this amazing used book store in San Francisco on Mission Street, Bolerium Books in search of them. In speaking to the clerk, I learned that "Don Holliday" was actually a guy named Victor Banis and that he lived in the area, working as an apartment manager. Victor Banis had been one of the biggest writers of pulp fiction in the 1960s and early 70s. He also wrote gothic romances, mysteries and horror tales.Almost all of these early novels were written under aliases. But the C.A.M.P. series, about a gay secret agent named Jackie Holmes and his pet poodle were what he was best remembered for. The clerk told me he would give him my contact information if I wanted. Hello? SURE I did.
I think Mr. Banis sent me an email first. I responded, gushing like a fan boy. This was just before he was "rediscovered" and started writing again for a new generation and I think my attention was a novelty after years of obscurity. I really wanted to meet this guy and talk to him.I invited him to lunch. He chose a place in the Castro District of San Francisco and off I went to meet him on the designated day.
The lunch went well. He was very friendly and receptive to my questions. I wish I'd had the forethought to record the conversation somehow. Oh well. Mr Banis actually had a couple of the C.A.M.P. novels to give me that I had not been able to track down. Wow! I was thrilled.
We stayed in contact via email after that. Even though he wanted me to call him "Victor," I couldn't bring myself to do so. So I just started calling him "Mr. B." A couple of weeks after our meeting he invited me to see him at a lecture where he was going talk about his career, read a bit of his works and sign autographs. In the short space of time between meeting him and the event, I had managed to amass a large collection of his books and took a big bag of them with me for him to sign. This picture was taken at the event:
Mr. B was a peach of a guy. Every once in a blue moon, he would surprise me. One time he sent me an autographed photo of Conrad Brooks (an actor in some of Ed Wood's films from the 1950s and 60s). On a couple of occasions he sent flowers on special occasions (he lived about a florist shop). The nicest surprise was in his novel AVALON. In this book of three women and their lives over a decade or so . One woman marries this controlling, powerful rich guy who is bothered by anyone talking to her. There is a mention of a chance encounter with a boy she knew in high school who was "the nicest guy" or something like that. That character's name was "Shawn Gadberry," which is my name.
I was thrilled that Mr. B had a renaissance period. He got a lot out there in the short amount of time he was active. He did say he was having trouble writing and switched gears to re-releasing his old stuff in a digital format.
I know he had health issues. He dreaded winters in West Virginia as his lungs couldn't tolerate the cold. I know he was having financial difficulties, too. For a while (until my financial situation changed), I was able to send him $100 a month to help...but that only lasted about 6 months or so as I moved back into my house and had to resume making house payments.
I always sent Christmas cards and postcards from my travels. I sent him a postcard from my recent trip to Europe and was looking up his address in my phone to send him one from San Diego, when i accidentally Googled him instead. I was shocked to learn that he had died last February. He had liver cancer and he never let on. Sure, he mentioned doctor visits, but he never alarmed me with his diagnosis.
As Mr. B got more and more involved using Facebook, his emails got less and less frequent. I'm not a Facebook user, so our communication ebbed somewhat. Because of that, it didn't seem strange to have not heard from him for a while.
I can not believe he is gone. He was such a sweet man, so very thoughtful. Good bye, Mr. B.
CHEERS, guys! I will miss you all.
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