Something Weird This Way Comes

I have had a life-long love affair with movies. I have just always been fascinated with them. My taste always seemed to run in the gutter, though. As a kid, instead of something like PATTON, IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT or DOCTOR ZHIVAGO, I’d rather watch some cheesy old horror movie on “CREATURE FEATURES” or “DOUBLE SHOCK” on TV.

As I got a little older, largely thanks to books like THE GOLDEN TURKEY AWARDS and THE PSYCHOTRONIC ENCYCLOPEDIA OF FILM (my B-movie bible) or magazines like FANGORIA, glimpses into even stranger films were gleaned. Ed Wood was the maker of the “worst film ever made” (PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE)? I needed to see his movies. John Waters, the “Prince of Puke”? I had to track his films down, too. 

The VHS era was a godsend to my movie-addicted brain. Video companies like Media, Wizard Video and Midnight Video help me to not only find the movies of Wood and Waters, but to discover more obscure trash classics to obsess over. 

In the 1990s, a new video company called Something Weird emerged. This was the ultimate distributor of the strange, the bizarre, and the forgotten. Something Weird unearthed things that had not been seen in decades. The company’s catalogue (deliriously filled with movie ad slicks for the various films) was just loaded with the strangest films imaginable. There were all manner of movies. I was bemused by the bizarre kiddie flicks from around the world, delighted with the jaw-droppingly deranged horror titles, and giddy for the god-awful (yet glorious) obscurities that even the PSYCHOTRONIC didn’t seem to know about.

During Something Weird’s heyday, it was my “go-to” source for bizarre-o video viewing enjoyment—especially after a new catalog supplement would come out offering more tantalizing tidbits from trash celluloid history.

Through Something Weird, I discovered such oddball gems as the films of Doris Wishman (“Nude On The Moon”, “Bad Girls Go to Hell”, “Double Agent 73”, etc.), the Harry Novak drive-in shockers (“A Scream In The Streets,” “The Child,” “Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman,” etc.), the trash of Barry Mahon (“The Wonderful Land of Oz,” “Pagan Island,” “Santa Meets the Ice Cream Bunny,” etc.) and the notorious Olga movies (“White Slaves of Chinatown,” “Olga’s House of Shame,” and my favorite, “Olga’s Dance Hall Girls”). Looking for a movie about a mutant killer turkey? Something Weird had it (“Blood Freak”). How about one about an eight-foot tall mutated and rampaging killer sheep? Something Weird had that, too (“Godmonster of Indian Flats”). Horror in a nudist colony? Try “The Beast That Killed Women” or “The Monster At Camp Sunshine.” Wow! Wow! Wow! It was z-movie nirvana!

Something Weird had been founded by Mike Vraney, an obscure movie aficionado from Seattle. Vraney unfortunately succumbed to lung cancer in 2014. By then the company had greatly slowed down its output of cinematic rarities. Although there had been a nice glut of titles released to DVD (through Image Entertainment) in the early 2000s, Something Weird, by and large seemed to have pretty much become a video-on-demand (with some DVD-r discs available) company. 

Over the last few years, I had noticed Something Weird sort of having a bit of a resurgence, with its classic tiles showing up on Blu Ray in conjunction with other video labels.

One day early this summer, I had a text message from my friend (Tiki With) Ray Wyland. It was just a screen capture from Facebook announcing a yard sale at Casa Weird hosted by Lisa Petrucci. WHAT!?!

Casa Weird is the home that Something Weird built…er bought. It was where Mike Vraney and his wife (and current CEO), Lisa Petrucci live(d). As a Something Weird fan and a life-long collector of movie memorabilia (especially posters), how could I miss this? 

On the morning of the yard sale, I was there (along with a dozen or so serious collectors). 

When the appointed hour came, we wandered in. It was clear that there were several people selling as there were individual tables and booths set up. I grabbed a giant skull right away. (What I’d do with it, I’d figure out later…) I also scored some Halloween sound effects CDs and a nifty tiki-esque table.

Where was the movie stuff? There were several boxes set up in front of the garage. However, there wasn’t much in them. Instead of one sheets for “The Curious Dr. Humpp” or “Confessions of a Psycho Cat”, there were one sheets for mostly tired mainstream movies that no one really cared about.  However, I felt that I had to get something movie related from the Something Weird yard sale. I found this double-feature poster for NAKED FLAME and OPERATION CROSS EAGLES. It wasn’t great, but better than nothing.

Ray hadn’t arrived yet, so I wandered about. There were a ton of vintage pulp novels in incredible condition that several shoppers were grabbing up. They were just snagging as many of as they could. (For only $1 each? What a deal! I passed, but had I been younger, I’d have been digging through the piles and boxes with them.)

Despite my few finds, I was kind of underwhelmed and disappointed. I was expecting an amazing assortment of Something Weird weirdness. I just wasn’t finding it.

I ventured into the garage and that’s when I finally got a sense of what I was looking for. My jaw hit the ground. There, in the back, were shelves and shelves of actual movie film. 

Most featured titles that were easily readable; “Dr. Blood’s Coffin,” “Burn Witch, Burn,” “The Old Dark House,” etc. There were many I knew (“The Uninvited,” “The Thing That Couldn’t Die,” “Monolith Monsters,”etc.) and far more I had never heard of (“Lipstick And Dynamite,” “Fatal Meeting,” “Hillbilly Love,” etc.). Oh my stars! Was this the heart and soul of Something Weird!?

On the other side of the garage in a separate walled-off area, I had an even bigger surprise. At first I saw some vintage film projectors. 

On the other side was an old popcorn machine and a banner for the facts-of-life docu-shocker “Married Too Young.” Wow! 

At the back, below a selection of classic dime store toys (Whee-lo! Water Wiennie!) was a skeleton painted on (I think it was) black velvet. Could this have been a prop from an old spook show back in the day?

The further I penetrated the garage, the more movie wonders I found. There were lobby cards for “Not Of This Earth,” “Bluebeard’s 10 Honeymoons,” and “Black Pit Of Dr. M.” There were a couple of smaller promotional posters for things like “Beyond The Door” and “She Devil.” There was also a door decked out with two circular signs from what looked like vintage adult theaters. (“All new and naughty show all!” Ha!)

Around the corner, along with some stored VHS tapes and more cans of film, was another circular sign. “Uncut! Uncensored! Positively no one under 18 will be admitted!” How fabulous and scandalous! (Whatever it was for, I’m sure it was relatively tame by today’s standards.)

There was some sort of office or additional storage room beyond a door. It was opened a crack and I did try to peer inside…but I already felt I was being intrusive. I didn’t go in—but was so in awe of all I had been able to see.

Ray arrived. He knew Lisa and introduced me to her. I was thrilled to make her acquaintance, but she was too busy with her customers (one of which had an enormous pile of books to purchase), and we didn’t really get much beyond hello.

That was that, I thought. I’d gotten to see a bit of the behind the scenes area of the video company that was a huge part of my cultural life. End of story…or so you would think.

A few days later, Ray sent me another text message. Again it was a screen shot for some upcoming event. It was an —OH MY STARS!—open house at Something Weird Headquarters. Apparently Lisa was downsizing the company. She was going to move it from its office above Darrell’s Tavern to her a basement office within her home. This was a chance to say goodbye—and I so needed to go.

My friend Erich is up visiting for the summer and he went with me. We met up with Ray at the North Shore Lagoon, a tiki bar above a swimming pool in Bothel, WA. From there, we went on to the Something Weird offices. 

It was an honor for me to be able to go. Although the space was much smaller than I thought it would be, it was still a great experience. 

I was especially enamored with posters on the walls. Oh my stars! There were one sheets for such things as “Teenage Gang Debs,” “The Violent Years,” “Sin In the Suburbs,” “Another Day, Another Man,” and more! Zowie!

There was also some spook show memorabilia. I saw a poster for “Chasm Of Spasms,” “Weird Show” and, what looked like, lobby cards for one of the spook shows.

A bookcase in the main room had a large selection of DVDs and BluRays. A table featured CDs and LP records produced by/with Something Weird. Lisa was graciously selling them all at a discount. I stocked up on a few things I didn’t have. 

Although Ray had found a seat and was chatting with people he knew, I felt a bit like a hobbling fish out of water with poor Erich in tow. We didn’t know anyone. 

Ray points at someone he knows.

Lisa was busy chatting with her friends and business associates. We only exchanged a few small pleasantries when I made my purchase. Lisa did tell me that she was very proud of the current BluRay and CD/vinyl releases. 

“This is the soundtrack of Something Weird,” she said of one particular CD. 

Lisa looking through someone's purchase.

Playing it later at home, I know exactly what she meant. Music easily identifiable from Something Weird’s more classic offerings, I could easily pick out. It has been, through repeated viewings of the films,  a part of my personal soundtrack for years as well.

I feel so lucky to have had those experiences. I have Ray to thank for them. I would like to have gotten to know Lisa more. I am sure she has some marvelous stories to tell of her encounters with some of my sleazy cinematic icons such as H.G. Lewis, Doris Wishman, David Friedman, etc. Neither time I met her was appropriate, though.

I do plan on sending her a thank you note, wrapped up in one my mail art envelopes. Something Weird wasn’t her baby, but she was married to the man who made it all possible. Even though it is at a reduced capacity, is it she who is keeping it alive. I am eternally grateful for all of that.