The New Meatless BEYOND Burger at Carl's Jr is BEYOND Bogus

It is no secret that I am a sucker for a good (or at least interesting) gimmick. My forays into food gimmickry have often met with disastrous results (such as my exploits with the NIGHTMARE BURGER or the infamous GRINCH-inspired GREEN PANCAKES). So when a junk mail flyer from Carl's Jr. announced a new meatless hamburger, the flyer didn't immediately end up in the recycle bin. It sat on my counter for weeks, while I debated whether or not to dare try it. When more than a month passed by and the fake meat burger was still being promoted, I finally caved in and went to try one. Of COURSE I would. I was only fooling myself by thinking I might skip it. Ha!

So, off I trod to Carl's Jr. I rarely have fast food any more, so this was a semi-special occasion.

As I walked to the door, there it was---the ad for the BEYOND Famous Star. Zowie! Was this going to go BEYOND my expectations? Would my taste buds be BEYOND fooled?

A sign right next to the door explained their BEYOND MEAT burgers. They feature 20 grams of plant-based protein that "looks and cooks" like a real hamburger and features "100% charbroiled flavor". Hmm.

I walked up to the counter and---there it was listed! The BEYOND Famous Star! I was actually getting excited at this point. But how much was it? The price was kind of small and hard to see. That's okay. I'm a sucker... I'll take one, please.

Wait. Does that say that the burger alone is $8.49? I ordered a combo (Why not totally blow my diet?) and had a small iced tea and small criss-cut fries. My total was $14-something. Jeepers! Heck, a regular (real meat) Famous Star is only $4.49. This meatless BEYOND thing must be something really special, right? Oh boy. I couldn't wait.

I gleefully placed my numbered placard on the edge of the table, so as not to be missed when the food came. 

I don't know what I was so worried about. There was only one other fat man in the whole place...and he already had his food.

Soon, a hefty Asian guy in a black suit and a crew cut brought out my tray. For the briefest of moments, I thought it was Odd Job, having escaped from an old James Bond film ("Goldfinger"). No. I think he was just the manager? Whatever. My BEYOND burger had arrived!

The wrapper had just read "Famous Star with Cheese"---no mention of it being a BEYOND Famous Star. Hmm. As I unwrapped it, it sure LOOKED like a regular hamburger.

Odd Job kept re-appearing, hampering my picture taking and my tasting the BEYOND Burger. He seemed to be busying himself with mundane tasks, such as restocking the napkin dispensers and general tidying up--all done rather quickly. I think he might have seen me taking photos at the front counter and of the restaurant in general...and thought I was possibly some corporate spy doing a secret investigation of the place?  Ha!

Lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese and a soft, fluffy bun (I had briefly considered asking for the burger to be done "protein style", which is wrapped in lettuce instead of a bun as I would do at In & Out, but for this instance I wanted to experience my fake burger in all of its bogus burger glory--bun and all!). It was time to try this thing. Oh boy! Oh boy!

I took a bite and... Hmm. I could taste the spreads (ketchup, mustard, mayo) and the onion was tasty. But I couldn't really taste the burger itself. Let's try it again...

Okay, so the BEYOND Famous Star LOOKED like a burger. It had the charbroiled marks like a burger and the texture (when I finally bothered to test that) was burger-like meat-esque (sort of). But the problem? It was utterly AMAZING, er... TASTELESS. Really. I never once believed I was eating a hamburger. Hmm.

Once I was finished, I realized that the adage about a sucker being born every minute still held true. For $4.49 (instead of $8.49), I could have had a REAL burger with REAL burger texture and REAL burger taste. (and saved myself $4). Grrr.

When I got home, I decided to look up the nutritional value of the BEYOND burger. Perhaps it was at least healthier than a regular Famous Star (after all, the description says it is a "healthier option"), which could possibly offset the added cost? Zowie! I was stunned at what I saw. The FAKE/non-meat burger (made from 100% plant protein) was 710 calories, had 40 grams of fat and had a staggering 1550 mgs of sodium. Yikes!

A real Famous Star must be worse though, right? WRONG! A Famous Star with Cheese has only 670 calories, 37 grams of fat and 1210 mgs of sodium.

While vegans and vegetarians may appreciate the new BEYOND burger option, I was BEYOND disappointed. But it was nice to know that you can pay more for a "healthier option" and end up with more calories, fat and sodium that you really can't even taste. It was BEYOND a ripoff. I won't be back any time soon and I certainly won't bother with a BEYOND burger ever again.

If Carl's Jr crashes and burns due to this fake-o fiasco, I hope poor Odd Job can get his old job back as an evil henchman to some megalomanic villain. Or perhaps working for a giant burger corporation selling overpriced bogus burgers is the same thing?

Who knows? (Or cares.)

PASS! (Oh well. I at least TRIED it.)

Cheers.