If we were to cast this version of GREEN ACRES, I suppose I would be "Oliver" (Eddie Albert's character). Oliver went to Green Acres to be a farmer. I came to Coupeville, not because I "wanted" to--but out of necessity with my physical condition. And, of course, if I am Oliver, that would make Erich "Lisa" (Eva Gabor), the "Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue" big city lover (although the idea of him in a frilly, feathered negligee is SCARY!). While Erich's biggest complaint is the weather (cold, damp, gray and dreary---or super windy)--especially when it keeps him from his walks, makes him sick or causes power outages (the one we had and, more recently, the big wind storm that knocked out power to the lower half of the island), some of the minor things we encounter also annoy him. He only has about a month left here, though. I think he'll survive...
The moving company called me the week before Thanksgiving to give me an update. There was some excuse about a truck being broken down. They would call the next Monday or Tuesday with an update. Monday or Tuesday? To me that said my stuff would probably arrive Wednesday--the day before Thanksgiving. Swell. But--the holiday was coming regardless of the move and I had invited the lady who lives downstairs (Pam) to join us. I couldn't put things on hold.
If you know anything about me, you know that I do not cook. In planning for Thanksgiving, I needed to take into account that both my mother and my brother follow the keto diet. So, I was bound and determined to make a keto or near-keto Thanksgiving for them.
I had a plan. Starting Monday and each day following, I would make a few dishes (or at least prep them) for Thanksgiving. That first day, I made a keto cheesecake and a keto-esque Cranberry Bliss Bars. (We could not find sugarless dried cranberries -- Not even in Pixley, er...Oak Harbor! If we'd only maybe had a Whole Foods, Lisa...er, Erich wondered aloud...) Making them was relatively easy. Erich helped. We were off to a good start, or so I thought... There was no call from the moving company that day.
On Tuesday, no call came again. I hoped that meant no delivery until after Thanksgiving. I hoped for the best and went on to make a keto pumpkin pie, keto broccoli salad, and prepped the keto mac and cheese (which substitutes cauliflower for the pasta) to bake on Thanksgiving.
So far, so good. Or was it? I had too much pie filling to fit, so I baked the rest in a separate dish. I had not tried anything thus far, but that extra bit I did sample. It was gross, nasty. I wondered if this keto thing was going to blow up in my face...and I still had several other dishes to put together. Hmm.
With no idea if my furniture would arrive or not, we set up a folding table with chairs. Very posh, you know--NOT! Mom bought a paper Thanksgiving table cloth. My brother and nephew were not coming. Despite being on a keto diet, my brother was having his non-keto traditional Thanksgiving dinner (from Safeway). That just left the four of us.
Wednesday was a busy day, finding us making keto stuffing, keto-esque Ambrosia (the fruit was, of course, not keto), keto cranberries, and prepping the keto mashed potatoes (which was, again, really just more cauliflower). Erich also prepared a keto-esque sauce made of fresh raspberries to use on the keto cheesecake. There was still no word from the movers...
Erich fretted about the plainness of the table. We went to several stores looking for, at the very least, Thanksgiving placemats. The night before Thanksgiving? Yep. We ended up with some flowers and some fluorescent orange poster board. It looked pretty good for what it was.
On Thursday, Erich took control of the turkey and got that all ready.
I prepped the keto version of Red Lobster's cheddar biscuits. I also cut up the keto Cranberry Bliss Bars.
Once the turkey was done, we got the other things that needed to be baked in the oven and made the keto gravy. Erich prepared some green beans and asparagus and some cocktails...and we were ready.
Mom and Pam arrived a little early. I asked Pam if Mom had informed her we were having a keto Thanksgiving. "Yes," she said. Did Mom also tell her that I don't cook? She started to laugh, and saw that I was not joking and just stared back at me. "I'm not kidding," I said. "I don't cook." This was going to be interesting.
We set Mom and Pam in the living room with some cheese and crackers. Because of the lack of furniture and the use of the folding table, I decided to serve it buffet style and let everyone help themselves.
It was more or less awful! I'm not just saying that. The turkey was okay, as was the broccoli salad. But the stuffing was bland. The "mashed potatoes" (cauliflower) went largely untouched. The cranberries were too tart. And I forgot to put out the ambrosia.
The biscuits were sort of okay--but not great. The "mac and cheese" got a pass--but only because it was literally almost all cheese. It was just not good.
Dessert didn't fair much better. While the Cranberry Bliss Bars were good and fairly close to the non-keto Starbucks originals, the cheesecake was flavorless. It was like eating a hunk of cream cheese--not cheese cake, despite the raspberry sauce. Having tasted the pumpkin for the pumpkin pie, I warned everyone off and it eventually ended up in the garbage completely untouched (as soooo much of the rest of the dinner did).
Pam (who, I found out, is from Ohio) ate her plate and politely took a plate of leftovers home (that I would bet also made their way to the trash). Mom ate very little. It was a complete disappointment.
But we'd been able to enjoy it without drowning in a sea of boxes. Phew!
However, that Friday night, I had a call telling me that most of my stuff (Not all of it.) would be arriving Monday. Okay. I was ready.
Monday morning, the truck pulled up as expected. The driver, Jose, was from the moving company. He was accompanied by two other men he had picked up from Craigslist. Uh-oh...
One of the helpers (I think his name was Clint?) was great. The other (Moe) was bad news, but we didn't realize that at first. I had my dining room cleaned out for the onslaught of boxes I was expecting--and they came!
The pile grew and grew and grew and GREW and...
As the unloading progressed, more and more things were discovered to be broken or damaged. The first thing that was noticed was my mom's antique sewing machine table.
Here's the missing piece...
Then, the buffet table which has been in the family decades, was discovered to be really scratched up on the top.
It was more than scratched. The damage went down beneath the finish to the wood below.
Then a big cabinet that was moved into my room was discovered to have been damaged.
I tried to see if I could straighten the trim back and the whole piece just fell off into my hand.
A dresser upstairs was also marred on one corner. You can't really tell here, but that wood on the corner could easily be flicked off if you tried.
As the day wore on, it became evident that a lot of the problem was probably being caused by Moe. When they first started unloading, Moe had disappeared. He later turned up and said he'd been to the library just a little ways down the street. He later disappeared (again to the library) and returned smelling of pot---and leaving the smell in my house. He had no regard for my stuff. He had a pile of boxes he repeatedly tried to scoop up with a dolly--after stabbing the side of one repeatedly with it before he got it to load. Another batch of boxes he accidentally dropped off of the side of the truck to the ground below. He'd bring things into the house and just drop them on the floor. I caught him going through the kitchen cupboards. He said he was looking for hot sauce.
That beer on the counter was not in the house before Moe arrived. He drank it---and then left the bottle. And then he asked both Erich and I for wine! He even ate the last of the keto Cranberry Bliss Bars (which was fine, but...).
When it came time to unload the last few things in the garage, Moe was nowhere to be found. When the driver, Jose, came up to sign off on his load, I heard him mention under his breath that Moe was "the worst worker ever" -- and I believe it.
Over the next several days that followed, I discovered more and more damage -- or total breakage. An old mirror that had belonged to my grandparents and was older than me, that had been packed by the company, not only had the glass portion broken...
But also the wooden frame at the base.
At least a dozen or so framed photos had shattered glass.
Some of my tiki mugs were also damaged or outright destroyed.
One of the tiki mugs was for a place in San Diego, Bali Hai, is still being produced. But my mug was an older one.
Breakage happens--but when you have a careless A-hole like Moe, dropping things with total disregard, breakage happens a LOT more.
Also discovered damaged was a big wooden shelf my mother's late brother had made for her.
But for everything broken, when I went through a box and pulled out something not broken, it was with total surprise and amazement. Other framed photos were okay, as were glass pitchers, coffee cups (well, I did lose some of those as well.), etc. My tiki bar sign from my friends made it through unscathed.
There have also been a few surprises while unpacking, such as the discovery of an old, disposable camera. All of the pictures have been taken, but I have no idea what is on the film or if--after all of this time--the film is even salvageable. I took it in for development a few days after I found it. I should get it back next week.
The strangest discovery (and one that was mercifully still intact) was the unpacking of some ceramic figurines.
They were made and painted by my friend Mallory Moad ...back in 1968.
How they came into my position and ended up here with me, I have no idea. But they will be returning to Mallory soon via the US Postal Service.
I also discovered my travel diary from when I went to Europe alone after I graduated high school in 1983. It was my second big trip (after my trip to Chile in 1981 as an exchange student). (Fair warning--I think this diary may soon become a blog...once I can dig up the photos to go with it all.)
The movers had come to my house in Clovis on November 2nd and packed it up, with the promise of getting my stuff to me within 14 business days. On December 3rd (a month later), the rest of the stuff finally arrived.
Of course, after the previous experience, we were leery of the moving crew. The 3rd was also the day Erich and I were going to Leavenworth, WA for a special holiday thing. (More on that in another post.) Having the movers come then really pushed back on our plans.
The driver got out to go over paperwork with me. When we asked about his crew for the day, I was so dreading seeing what losers he had found on Craigslist this time. Ugh! But to our astonishment, the guy said he was there alone. Huh?
He said he could do everything himself---and he pretty much did. We ended up helping somewhat. I was hobbling all over, it seemed. Besides just boxes, he had some furniture to deliver--including pieces that went upstairs. One of which was a big, long, heavy dresser. But he got it up -- alone.
I did find a piece of ...something. Clearly it came off of a piece of furniture. I just don't know where yet.
It took a long while for him to finish the move---but it was a far less painless ordeal than the first half had been. We were able to get on the road for our trip by about 2 pm. The final part of the move had gobbled up a good part of the first day of the trip---but it was now DONE!
After our return from Leavenworth, I continued unpacking. I have come across crap but also treasures, like old photos -- such as these of my mom, my brother and I, and my nephew.
It's hard for me to move things about with my neuro-muscular issues (and whatever I may have done to my left knee). Erich is helping, but it's my crap--so it's mostly on me. And I have to step it up. My friend Nedra arrives December 23rd and Christmas is right around the corner as well. I've got to get everything put away or find a place to store it until I can get to it. I'm trying to avoid the garage as it is so damp here and I don't want things (pictures, books, etc.) ruined. I will admit I have an irrational fear of moving things into my room. I formerly lived in a one-story house built on a cement slab. Here, my room is in an added-on wing. The floor creaks when I walk on it and isn't quite level with the rest of the house. My movie posters are actually very heavy. I worry about overwhelming the structure and having it crash down to the floor below. I know there are building codes and I'm sure it's fine, but...
How do I know that the Coupeville version of the Monroe Brothers didn't build this section?
It would be just my luck...
Anyway, I am here. My stuff is here. Time to unpack (Groan) and get on with my life...
CHEERS!
To continue to the next part...about unpacking, the holidays, and our (spoiler) white Christmas, click on the link here.
Comments
Yes, Erich is here through the holidays, leaving in early January. My friend Nedra is also coming for Christmas. Brr. They should both have waited for WARMER weather. Cheers